In a February 1971 edition of UK's Jackie magazine, Jon tells readers of his Hammond adventures:

"Deep Purple's Jon Lord bought his Hammond in a Cambridge music shop and it would normally have cost £1400, but it had been used for demonstrations and Jon talked the price down to £850. Over the years it's had a lot of battering - including the time when, under Jon's assault, it overturned on stage and roadies had to rush on frantically and heave it upright! "Luckily it has a tough casing," says Jon.

Want to take up organ playing? Jon's advice is: "If you're buying one second-hand, fight shy of London - you may get landed with an organ that's been in a group and has had hell knocked out of it. Try the provinces: the chances are it will have been used in a church or a dance band. That means it will have been carefully handled."

with thanks to John Barnes

Make your concert go with a bang! Get our new Deep Purple 25 shot repeater - plays Smoke On The Water over and over!

"WARNING Shoots Flaming Balls And Reports" says the notice on the side of the box. "Dear Sir, just reporting that I have shot a number of flaming balls today, and would appreciate prompt payment as per our terms and conditions..."

These were spotted by Andrew Voronin at the TNT Party Center store in Washington, DC.
(How long before we see that typeface as a band logo on a new set of t-shirts I wonder!?).

Does Steve come from a long line of tea magnates? Gary Poronovich spotted this gem of a warehouse in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

The sort of building I'd love to own and convert if I had the dosh!

A little bit of politics...

Gareth Toms wonders if the politicians are grubbing after the Deep Purple fans' vote in the run up to the election, and as evidence cites this story in the Standard Magazine.

(click the pic to enlarge)

So for those of us who thought Purple Reign was just the title of an early and somewhat dodgy reunion bootleg set, certainly something to think about.

Date of the story? April 1st 2010.

Ex Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho returned to Stamford Bridge last week with his new charges Inter Milan. Quite an occasion for the Chelsea faithful, who had their sentiments set to music by Rainbow. According to The Times Online:

"And let us end at the start of the evening, when Mourinho appeared on the touchline pre-match to a soundtrack of the Rainbow classic Since You’ve Been Gone. The next line goes “I’m outta my head, can’t take it”, swiftly followed by “You cast the spell, so break it”. The concern for everyone at Stamford Bridge is that Mourinho’s spell, far from being broken, has been reinforced. And if you think that Terry and his team-mates will not be pining for Mourinho this morning, it is to underestimate the extent to which he remains, in their eyes, the Special One."

With thanks to John Hansford

£850,000 pounds seems a lot of money for unobstructed views over Gillan, but if you're a rabid Ian Paice fan it might just be worth it!

This is actually a seaview property in sunny Cornwall (England), spotted by David Black while out house-hunting. As he says Gillan needs a little work here and there to restore to former glories.

Savills in Truro are handling the sale. A wardrobe containing assorted old stage clothes is available by separate negotiation.

With thanks to David Black

Deep Purple give Leicester Tigers a thick ear.. from The Times online, 21st February 2010...

"Frankly, I did enjoy the start. Leicester always take the field to the strains of Smoke On The Water. With Ritchie Blackmore’s famous guitar riffs, the team filed on just as Roger Glover’s bass and Ian Paice’s drums kicked in. Taking in the mediocrity of much of what happened afterwards, I would have been happier to sit through a rendition of the whole Deep Purple back catalogue and stayed in the warm..."

With thanks to John Hansford.
(Do we need a Grollywood sport supplement?)

Anyone with an interest in racing should note that a horse called Deep Purple won at Huntingdon on December 10th and might be worth keeping an eye on, according to our tipster Jamie Woodward. And it was born on April 14th (Blackmore's Birthday!).

Mike Burnett has found some film of the nag in action at news.bbc.co.uk/sport1..

and adds that it will be worth following provided it is a Mk2 style horse rather than the Jolene version (as that one will fall at the first hurdle). He also wonders what music would be appropriate in the winner's enclosure; The Saddle Rages On? Loosen My Stirrups? Mike did hear a rumour that diminutive rock star Paul Rodgers was due to ride Deep Purple but the ground was evidently too Firm.

Ruhrkohle AG, a huge German chemistry company, have brought in the make-over specialists and changed their name to the much sexier Evonik (so they nicked the name of Evostick and just dropped a few letters). The same consultants also decided the company needed a 'colour', and settled on deep purple. Or as their press release puts it: "Der RAG-Farbton erinnert an die Musikgruppe Deep Purple. Laut Firmenchef Werner Müller sei auch diese Rockband aus den siebziger Jahren mit ihrer Musik ihrer Zeit voraus gewesen." Which roughly means the colour stands for creativity and innovation. The company boss told the press that the band DP was well ahead of its times in the seventies. EVONIK also produce anti-wrinkle chemicals. Maybe a sponsorship deal between them and our no longer quite so spring-chicken like superstars is worth considering?

Thanks to Thomas Duve

The publicity machine cranks up. Ian Paice has done a long interview for... The Wilmslow Express (at least it's a posh satellite town of Manchester, so the Wags might take an interest!); Planet Rock are running a deeply-voiced radio trailer: "They first rocked our world 40 years ago...and now the're back" , accompanied by an appropriate piece of backing music... Burn (guaranteed to be the one track they won't be playing!).

Plus they've got a DP tour banner on Sickipedea's front page, the web site devoted to "the world's sickest jokes". Complete with a little pixelated phallus!

Some of our readers have too much time on their hands. Gareth Toms has decided to use some of it to put together an all-female Gillan tribute group called Mrs. Universe.

We'd let you know when the auditions are taking place except I can imagine Ian Gillan would want these to be in private.

Line-up: Joan McCoy, Coleen Towns, Aileen Gillan, Michelle Underwood, Bernadette Torme? Not forgetting manager Philippa Banfield.

Album discography:

• Mrs Universe

• Gloria Road (with Gillian fans only - see below)

• Stubble Trouble (sponsored by Epilady)... introducing Janice Gers on guitar

• Wife At Reading

It has long been accepted fact that Rainbow took their name from the famous bar and grill in Los Angeles. Not so, says historian Chris Mallinson, based in Yorkshire's Capital City, Leeds.

"My research suggests that back in 1970, after Deep Purple played the Town Hall in Leeds, the band felt a bit peckish and set off in the gear van looking for somewhere for a take-away. In those days few places stayed open late, but eventually they ended up in Sheepscar and came across this old-fashioned Balti house, the Rainbow Take Away Curry Centre. Blackmore took a shine to the name and also to the sign above the door. Six years later as they say, the rest became history. Sad to say the old shop is now under threat of demolition, so I am trying to organise a protest, or at least make sure the sign is saved for the nation."

We wish you well Chris; if the worst comes to the worst I've got a long ladder and a tool kit when the nights get dark again, so give me a bell. The Hard Rock Cafe ought to pay a few bob for this...

As most of the Deep Purple chaps move into their sixth decade, thoughts of easing off and retirement must inevitably come to mind. And what better way that to run some sort of small leisure business?

During a recent trip to Prague (in which his wallet and mobile were stolen, but happily not his camera) Mark Bulldeath noticed this hostel in a back street and wonders if the man in black has been planning ahead... It's even got a Tour Desk listed.

Available soon from a merchandise stand near you!

Simon spotted this in an old issue of Practical Householder from 1956.

Well a third summer going by under the grim weather (though only one flooding incident in Sheffield so far). What you need to keep you going is a good brolly. And here's one Andrey Gusenkov spotted when he was out and about in Moscow recently.

It's designed to keep smokers dry when they have to nip outside for a ciggie but it's raining (hence Smoke and Water). There's even an ash-tray built into the handle!

The down-side is that the other panel has Cigarettes n Alcohol by Oasis printed on it...

"Hi - I saw with interest your news item about some of the early sleeve versions which never got printed when my friend and Deep Purple fan Jan Hedelin told me about it. I used to work for a London agency and one of my first jobs was the Deep Purple In Rock sleeve.

What might interest you is that the original sleeve concept was a bit different. The heads were to look like they were cut in stone on Mount Rushmore, but on the back, we were going to show the group from the, er, back. We did the artwork, and sent it all off, but one of the group didn't feel his back cover picture did him justice and asked us to take it off. We did this and sent it back but they were under pressure to get the album out as time was short, they just repeated the front.

I saved a copy of the back and send it along in case you want to use it.

All the best, Art Bord."

Times are undoubtedly hard. Manufacturing costs are rising and if you can find ways to trim some of the bills then it makes sense. At least this seems to be the attitude at Whitesnake Clothing plc.

Whitesnake visited Umeå in Sweden last weekend (still waiting for the review Mr. Maddock!). In the crowd Henrik Nyberg was waiting for the concert to start when his cell phone rang. Henrik is one of the owners of Husqvarna shop in town. The call was from the group's manager who said they wanted to buy a sewing machine they had seen in his shop window.

But not any old sewing machine. They wanted the Designer Diamond, acknowledged as the Rolls-Royce of sewing machines, and a snip at 70 000 kronor or £5600. Not surprisingly the shop only sells a few a year.

Henrik opened the store exclusively for the group on Sunday so they could make their purchase. The idea is apparently that they can now embroider exclusive merchandise, using the machine's in-built computer interactive window and industry leading 360 mm x 200 mm stitch area which allows you to do large designs without rehooping.

Next time if he wants to call the DPAS we can do the same piece of kit for £4799 plus shipping. Or we do have a really nice vintage early 1960 Husqvarna for sale, which does need some work on the tension arm.

Thanks to Peder Lundmark for the story. (Our picture shows the sort of frocks you can decorate with this machine)

"Hello everyone! Just to announce that after many years in the rock and roll industry, I decided to open up a little business for my retirement.

Not being sure quite what, I wanted to do something associated with the business, so decided to open a small chemist store. I figured most rock musicians need chemical stimulants at one time or another, so we're stocking up on Lemsips, Fishermen's Friends and Victory Vs. A wide variety of ear protectors, hair dye and wig glue will also be stocked.

So, if your band is on tour and passing through the rock and roll heartland of Derbyshire, do drop in to see us in the village of Arkwright!

Best, Bruce."

It's official. Simon Robinson IS a cretin!

How do we know? Because it's on the front page of Spain's biggest selling daily newspaper that's how. The same Q&A article also let's us know that Slaves & Masters was "the last great Deep Purple Record". I wonder who could be over in Barcelona and trying to drum up publicity for a concert? Only one of the statements is actually wrong. Answers on a postcard please!

(click the pic to see the full article)

"An episode of 'The Simpsons' shown the other week was entitled 'Smoke on the Daughter', I noticed, whilst an excerpt from 'Space Truckin' was in the background in last night's 'My Name Is Earl' episode.

Elsewhere, ex-Darkness singer was hyping his forthcoming Childline concert appearance on Simon Mayo's Radio 2 Drivetime show the other day by mentioning 'Deep Purple's Jon Lord and Glenn Hughes' sharing the bill. 'You and Glenn Hughes on the same bill? That will be a scream-fest' quoth Mayo.

Also new Rock 'supergroup' Chickenfoot (Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony, Chad Smith and Joe Satriani) ended their May 14th debut showcase gig in Seattle with a cover of 'Highway Star' - the first time played since 94 for Satriani presumably...and possibly the first time ever for singer Hagar who (authentic-stylee) read the lyrics from a piece of paper on the floor..."

Tim Summers

As a big fan of Lego ever since I was a kid (and someone who has managed to assemble a collection of all the old accessory pack boxes and even one of these fab 60s wooden boxed sets) I was amazed when DPAS man Richard Poustie asked me if I knew Lego had 'made' a Jon Lord figure.

It turns out that the company has a brilliant piece of software, which downloads from their website (and works on Macs too, so that's me sorted for next weekend), and enables you to design your own models on screen. But what's even better is you can upload these plans back to the Lego site and if they like what you've done, they make it available to buy as a parts kit in a special limited edition. And some genius has designed what looks like Jon Lord, circa 1969, seated at a Lego Hammond, complete with a Lego Leslie speaker.

Well, no prizes for guessing what my pocket money is going on next Saturday.

Bored with your Joe Lynn Turner CDs? Don't like the track choice on the latest Deep Purple budget collection? Can't think what to do with the mountain of rubbishy DVDs dumped on you by The Daily Telegraph? Make your own entertainment - microwave them!

This is best done at night in a dark kitchen. You need to put a cup of water in the centre of the microwave and balance the disc label side down, shiny side up. Turn off the kitchen lights and programme the microwave for a five second burst on the high setting. You will now see a great firework show.

Disclaimer. This experiment can damage the microwave. Try it with a cheapo second hand one from a charity shop. It can smell awful (and the fumes could be dangerous) so try placing the machine in the shed or garage. It will render the CD unplayable.

How does it work?

The aluminum layer in a CD-ROM is very thin. The microwave oven induces large currents in the aluminum and makes enough heat to vaporize the aluminum. You then see a very small lightning storm as electric arcs go through the vaporized aluminum. Within a few seconds there will be many paths etched through the aluminum, leaving behind little metalic islands. Some of the islands will be shaped so that they make very good microwave antennas. These spots will focus the microwave energy, and get very hot. Now you will see just a few bright spots spewing a lot of smoke. It is now time to turn off the oven.

Thanks to Paul Haas for the effects description and Andy McFadden's CD-Recordable FAQ page on the web for the information (www.cdrfaq.org/ faq07.html - a useful page of techie info on CDs, CDRs, disc life expectancy and much more).

The Montreux Jazz Cafe, housed in the Stravinsky Hall at the rebuilt Casino complex, has added a new dish to their menu according to Andrey Gusenkov. It's a salad (or Salade) called Smoke On The Water! It comprises potatoes, saveloy, gherkins and green onions.

So, what Johnny Swiss has actually invented is bangers and mash (or bubble and squeak) - cold.

Gareth Toms has just got back from a holiday in the Lake District and spotted this handbill in a local pub that was having a beer festival.

Clearly our Roger has decided to diversify in these recession prone times!

Dear Deep Purple,

We represent a well known firm of manufacturers, specialising in very low-priced items for sale at discount stores and petrol station forecourts. You may have seen our fabulous 'candles that change colour' and 'twenty spanners in one' sets lately. We have recently purchased a job lot of several thousand cooking pans and have been looking for a way to add value to these, and felt a tie up with a major rock group such as yourselves would be ideal. By using one of your album covers, we feel both our pans and your music could be promoted to great effect - possibly with a special edition of the album itself. I attach a design you could use in connection with this promotion and look forward to hearing from you.

Nik Robbins CEO N.E.Oldiron Ltd.

Sir,

I notice with interest the alternate sleeve art on your esteemed web site. It may interest you to know that back in the sixties in London I used to dabble in graphic design myself, though my most profitable business was running a very popular boutique near Carnaby Street, selling men's fashions (under the name Nick Robbins & Son). I was lucky enough to meet some of the group Deep Purple who were looking to get togged up for a photo sessions and we got chatting. When they heard I also did design, they suggested I run them up an idea for their upcoming album.

Amazingly I hung onto it all these years, so thought you might like to include it in your hall of fame so to speak. Sadly they didn't go with my idea, I'm not sure why. All was not lost though as they did buy a few shirts. Also on the way out they spotted a pile of discounted gold trousers trousers which had been manufactured too short and I'd been trying to get rid of. "These'll suit Rod!" one of them laughed and they took several pairs. I often wonder what happened to them.

Nick Robinson

Bengt Johansson was on holiday in Florida earlier in 2009 and spotted  this rather smart bottle of Lodi Zinfandel red wine in a local store.  The text is so psychedelic I can't make most of it out, and while it  would be nice to think they've called it after our favourite rock  band, it's probably named after the colour of the wine.

It doesn't  seem to have made it to our local Threshers in any case.

Back in April 1990, Revolutionary Comics unleashed Whitesnake, in comic book form. The magazine was actually split 50/50 between DC and Warrant (who?).

There are three Whitesnake strips, the best and most entertaining of which (the others are excrable) is an unauthorised history of David Coverdale's musical career - "Whitesnake - Here They Go Again!", with many of the drawings based on photos in Simon's Whitesnake Illustrated Biography.

Here are some excerpts, starting when young David receives some career advice, and reads that Ian Gillan is leaving Deep Purple..

Newspaper The Sheffield Star - motto "never knowingly over-estimating our readers" - had a page of readers poems for Valentines Day 2009. I couldn't resist sharing a verse from "Black Knight" by Glynis Beattie:

His idea of bliss, was a lingering kiss As we listened to The Stones and Deep Purple Then at the end of the night, we'd turn out the light And indulge in a grope and a furtle.

Nice one Glynis! Scholars have been trying to find a rhyme for Purple for eons, little dreaming you could get away with furtle. It's just as well she didn't reverse the band's names:

His idea of bliss, was a lingering kiss As we listened to Deep Purple and The Stones Then at the end of the night, we'd turn out the light And he'd see how loud were my moans.

Now, what was that about nobody wanting to accept the poet laureate's position this year? Thanks to Carole Frogatt for the cutting.

Chris Meloche has e-mailed from Canada to say that he contributes to a forum about what people are listening to on vinyl.

"Some of us post pics of things on our turntable. Here's Live in London on my turntable. I like the way the white lettering reflects off the record!"

Nice one Chris! The rest of us will perhaps be more envious of that rather nice looking Linn deck...

David and the boys manage to find fame, or infamy, in the latest edition of the adult (I use the word loosely) comic Viz. Each issue has an update to their dictionary of modern slang, and the phrase Going for a Whitesnake has made it into their December 2008 edition.

According to the compilers, Going for a Whitesnake means: "Sloping off to indulge in a bit of one-handed worm burping. From the lyrics to the famous song by the erstwhile Middlesborough based poodle rockers; viz. "Here I go again on my own, Going down the only road I've ever known".

Manager Bruce Payne has donated a collection of old Deep Purple painted stage cloth backdrops to Grollywood. These historic artifacts have puzzled scholars for many years, and a number of thesis have been published trying to explain exactly what they represented. It is hoped that when these backdrops arrive, Grollywood will be able to make them available to students who wish to do further research. Bruce was unable to shed much light on the artist responsible either. "I had them over to do some work redecorating the games room and we'd forgotten to get anything organised for the tours, so they knocked me these up in their lunch-breaks." The backdrops were found being used as dust sheets to keep his collection of golf clubs tidy. One of the backdrops is thought to be based on the In Rock sleeve, but speculation as to who the faces depicted are remains rife. Another of the DP reunion logo turns out to be quite clever. "I'm told that from the audience it looked all strange", said drummer Ian Paice. "But from where I sat on the drum stool, if I turned round and looked up, the weird perspective suddenly made sense, and I could tell what it was."

Sadly the Bananas stage decorations were missing from the collection. "These went back to the greengrocers where I borrowed them from," admitted Bruce.

Grollywood plans to add to this important archive, and negotiations are already under way with Carole Stevens to try and obtain the haybales, potted shrubs and polystyrene stone walls from the Blackmore's Night tour. We have offered to restore the shrubs to their original condition by sticking the leaves back on, though our archivist admits that no amount of work will make the walls look convincing. Further donations will be welcomed. If you're sitting on the skimpy costumes which Gillan's dancers wore on the UK tour, get in touch.

The switching on ceremony of the Grollywood Xmas Lights this year was more of a low-key event than planned. Jon Lord had agreed to do the honours, but mistakenly travelled to the Norwegian town of Grohlewudde. By the time the mistake had been discovered it was too late for him to get back.

At the last minute we found Susan Patricia Rouper was free and she kindly stepped in. Sue is well known as the woman who inspired a song by Ian Gillan on the Who Do We Think We Are album, and she certainly inspired the assembled throng of guests with her tales of the album sessions in Rome, though for legal reasons we're unable to print any of these here.

The theme of this year's illuminations was global - Places That Deep Purple Have Yet To Tour In. However as the display was over a year in the planning, by the time of the switch on a large number of bulbs had to be removed. Guests didn't seem to mind too much and made good use of the left over illuminated promotional plastic bananas to make their way around. We had hoped to have a gallery of images but sadly our photographer was escorted off the premises by two burly security staff yelling "no cameras" into his ear.

"What will Blackmore's Night do?" wonders avid Grollywood reader Keith Livingstone. The cause of his concern are the recent nuptuals between Mr. Blackmore and Ms. Night. Now that she is legally Mrs. Blackmore, Keith fears the band will also be forced to change their name. "Would Blackmore's Blackmore be appropriate?" he wonders.

Well it could be worse Keith, just think what would happen if they decided to reform Rainbow together, and called it Blackmore and Blackmore's Rainbow - or if they formed a trio like ELP and brought in Ritchie's lad Jurgen. Then it would be Blackmore, Blackmore and Blackmore... although I suppose they could take a leaf out of The Nolans career and just tour as The Blackmores.

Mike Galway has emailed and says have we not thought Blackmore might be a new man and take his bride's surname instead? In which case the group might be called Night Night....

It is with regret that we have to report that some over enthusiastic Deep Purple fan has been defacing property. Whilst we share this fan's enthusiasm for spreading the word, we shouldn't condone this sort of behaviour. Our shocking picture shows the result of this vandalism, which appeared on the walls of the Rhythm & Blues Cafe, only 300m away from the Kremlin itself!

Our reporter, Andrey Gusenkov, sent us this photograph. What has really angered the authorities is not so much that the work has appeared, but that Dmitry Medvedev is apparently missing from the portrait.

Walking through Whitby yesterday wearing his Rapture tour T-shirt (de rigueur for Northern coastal visits he assures us), Tim Summers was "somewhat surprised to have a passing car toot its horn and the occupants point at my shirt waving thumbs-ups! Our children were mildly impressed, although my wife Yvonne was insistant that the car driver probably caught the horn accidentally whilst trying to mount the kerb to mow me down. And furthermore that she doubted the single raised digit was actually a thumb".

It must have been the fine weather. We headed for Scarborough the same weekend. All we got was a "what's that" when we asked for Earl Grey in a cafe called The Teasmade. When we pointed out that their menu listed Speciality Tea, we were told their speciality flavour was Yorkshire Tea. And this in a place where the brat at the next table was called D'arcy.

We made up for it last Saturday by going to Betty's in York instead (to mourn the loss of Track Records which seems to have vanished). Although when I asked for a Machine head teapot like the one in your picture they did give me a strange look... we'll have to see if we can get some made for the Grollywood café.

If you're feeling brave, there are more alternate sleeves below, courtesy of Roy Watson-Davies...

Blackmore's had a go, Jon Lord guested on one in Norway, and even Ian Gillan had a bash once. What? Appeared on a Christmas record! So we thought it would only be fair to let other Grollywood trustees and chums to get a chance to dress up in red jackets and frolick with stuffed reindeers; hence a forthcoming CD release entitled We Wish You A Metal Christmas, which will be on sale at our Xmas bizarre which opens shortly (Keith Livingstone has offered to switch on the lights for us).

Steve Morse, Dio, Joe Lynn Turner, various members of Whitesnake and other rockers old and new are all entering into the spirit of the project, especially since their applications to appear as extras in the grim Morrisons Xmas TV adverts have fallen through. Morse plays guitar on Santa Claus is Back in Town. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen features Ronnie James Dio while Rocking Round The Xmas Tree will be Joe lynn Turner. It's sure to be the release of the festive season, which starts officially on October 15th!

If you can't make it down to Grollywood, you can pre-order this festive gem for your granny at the DPAS online store. Yes folks, it's actually for real.

Someone has emailed us complaining about the lack of glamour at Grollywood and wonders if we might get Jon Lord to do a show at the camp with rising star Barbara Dennerlein, who heads her own band playing Hammond B3 with foot pedals, playing solo as well as with big bands & orchestras.

We say Jon might well enjoy sharing his organ, er instrument, er equipment, er Hammond with her and so we're opening negotiations right away by writing off for a signed photo. In the meantime check out the music and videos on the web site barbaradennerlein.com/

Mr. Watson Davis (RA) has been inspired by these discussions to check through his original artwork folder. "Amusingly enough, years of being twatted round the ear by teachers who took a dim view of me experimenting with my designs on school desk lids left me a little hard of hearing. When the band's manager first called about the commission, I misheard the album title completely. With hindsight I can see that stoats were not featured in many old legends of stormbringing mythical creatures so there were some red faces and blue comments when I delivered my first version of the artwork I can tell you and, while Ritchie really liked it, the others didn't, so I quickly did a new cover. I agree is not one of my finest - though I rather resent the idea that I was somehow taking the piss. Nevertheless I quite liked the original, and have always been fond of stoats, so thought your readers might like to see this. I little realised thirty odd years ago that this would cause such a flurry of interest. I've had Radio Four and Loose Women after me for example. I turned down Radio Four..." Grollywood are now organising a temporary exhibition marking the reissue of the album, to include all these early covers. There will be a screening of the film Twister, a chance to remix the title track on our intereactive display (the results to be judged by Doris Coverdale from the Reptile shop in town), while heavy rockin' parents can have their picture taken on our cart horse Dobbin, which has been painted white and had some clever cardboard wings attached. A fun day for all the family indeed.

(This is beyond silly... you owe me big time Mr Watson Davis)

After reading Mr. Casso's email, we went in search of the elusive Watson-Davis and managed to track him down at a retreat in rural Devon where he goes for the summer to recover from the rigours of teaching teenage girls. What he wouldn't tell us.

Amazingly, he has kept that rare original artwork which he explained he carries with him on his travels to show people on the bus or train. We did offer to buy it for the archives but he declined, citing a better offer from the Sid's M1 Mash Shop (who apparently decorate the peg-board of their famous cafe walls with rock and roll bits and pieces. Or at least bits and pieces of roll). He did however send us a low res scan for the site.

(This is all getting very silly)

Not the bumper history of the band we were expecting from the cover, this paperback is actually a sub-LeCarré Brit spy story! The title comes from the fact that one of the characters in the story is a Jazzy pianist type, who is requested to play Deep Purple at every function he attends. Instead of giving the guests a rousing keyboard version of Hard Lovin' Man, he tinkles the old Tempo / Stevens song. Shame.

Timothy Campbell, who spotted it, says the BBC did a radio version of it which is quite good, and is probably out there on the interweb somewhere.

"Dear Deep Purple,

If you remember, I did you the joined-up DP logo for your comeback  elpee. I read you were going to do a new one called Stormbringer and  wanted ideas, so I'm submitting my design which was inspired by some idea my friend Roy Watson-Davis gave me. I thought we could have a  picture of a pretty girl in a purple bikini on the back.

Hope to hear  from you.

Peter Casso"

Nanowires are currently an interesting area of research with potential for solar energy gathering in the future. David Parlevliet, a PhD student at Murdoch University in Perth, wondered what would happen if the usual method of generating the pulsed plasma (to stimulate growth) was replaced with music instead. So instead of using the pulse generator, he connected a CD player and tested the effect of Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water, along with Chopin, Rammstein and Abba. He discovered that the nanowires grew more densely when Smoke on the Water was the source! Sadly though the track will not be the solution to global warming, as it also caused the kinkiest samples, and ideally the wires need to be long and straight...

Thanks to Tom Dixon for the story. Image courtesy David Parlevliet.

The puzzle over who wrote the lyrics to Smoke On The Water may be a step closer to being unravelled, thanks to Grollywood. It is well known that Ian Gillan liked his paperbacks, taking inspiration from these for a number of song ideas over the years.

Could this best selling title from publishers Badger Books have given him the concluding lyric for the opening line of the chorus to Smoke? Or did he just buy it for the guaranteed treatment to stop hair loss advertised inside the back cover? If so, it was the best 25 shillings he ever spent.

According to our investment advisor Audie Philips, you could soon be getting your gas from ... Whitesnake!

The energy suppliers Centrica are currently exploring in Norway. Each field they get to explore is given a name, and for some reason they've decided to use names of seventies rock acts. In the past they've had T-Rex and the latest set includes Santana and Whitesnake.

Motto if the new field proves worth exploiting: Love To Keep You Warm? Mind you I'd be a bit worried about the Whitesnake meter readers if I were a lonely housewife...

We've often heard Ian Gillan described as the silver-throated screamer. Rod Evans has always been a little miffed that he never had a similar soubriquet, and so he has now decided to come up with his own trade-mark name - 'The Gilded Tongue'.

To help promote this, he has put together his own book, which we've not yet had the pleasure of seeing for ourselves, but looks like it could be full of his fabulous lyrics for many Mk1 classics. We're looking into the possibility of Rod being a guest speaker at one of our Grollywood members days, when we shall also chide him for not spelling gilded with a gu...

Thanks to Nick Robinson

Remember those two world record attempts we reported last year? The most people gathered together to play Smoke? Well Guinness World Records office has officially confirmed the new record for the "Largest Guitar Ensemble" with 1,802 players was set on June 23, 2007 in Leinfelden, Germany. What's more a German label is issuing the whole thing on a CD along with a couple of other strange covers (including Pat Boone's infamous version from some years ago). Guinness also say that the German record beat the American attempt three weeks before by less than 100 guitars!

Thanks to Zounds/CMS.

If eBay has done one thing, it is to revitalise the cottage industry in ways never dreamed possible just a few years ago. Want to see your idols fronting fridge magnets? Fancy seeing them converted into Andy Warhol-style primary colours? No problem!

The newest craze are "Life Without?" stickers for your car bumper. Except they forgot the question mark - Keith Livingstone saw this one and couldn't resist!

Which inspired us here at Grollywood. You know those road-rage inducing WWJD (what would Jesus do) stickers you see about? We're going to start a range of WWBD stickers - What Would Blackmore Do...

(Answer - Set fire to your bed?).

We've just been sent an advert for a German group called Cheap Turtle In Rock. After pondering for a time whether this is the worst tribute band name ever (or whether perhaps it's a band that likes to cover Deep Purple, Cheap Trick and The Turtles), we then had an even more worrying thought - perhaps it's not a tribute act but (given 2008 is the anniversary year and everything) the band's new album title. We have written to Roland Karlen in Switzerland (who submitted the picture) for more details. Urgently.

Update: Since our feature on Cheap Turtle, angry Germans have contacted us to say that of course this is not the worst Deep Purple tribute band name, and this accolade for sure belongs to a group called Die Bärbel im Rock. This roughly translates as Barbie in a skirt and also turns out to be a German pun: if a drunken Frankfurter (not a sausage, but a native of Frankfurt) tries to pronounce Deep Purple in Rock in his local dialect, it sounds phonetically exactly like Die Bärbel im Rock. Apparently.

Thomas Duve kindly offered to demonstrate but then we discovered that we'd have to cover his bar bill, so as yet this theory remains unproven. Nevertheless, our entertainment manager Richard head is busy planning an evening of German tribute bands right now.

Grollywood are pleased to announce a tie-up with Marks & Spencer. It's often difficult to decorate your Deep Purple 'den' at this time of year, but M&S are now selling a proper Deep Purple coloured Christmas Tree. It stands five feet tall, so you can hang your CDs on it for a nice glittery effect. If you want to order one, it's called Shanghai and will set you back about £25.

When we rang M&S to discuss this, they had yet to decide who would be the model for the fairy to go on the top of the tree.

Our thanks to Carol and Brian Froggatt for the details.

Well, thanks to some hard work by Frans van Arkel, we can now show you the prototype of the Deep Purple set. You can see why it would take some tough negotiating, but with Blackmore getting top doll, it can now go ahead. You may think Lord looks more like a gay French priest but we think he looks ... distinguished.

Frans tells me that if you can't get down to Grollywood's own shop, some of these dolls are already being sold on internet auction sites.

Thanks Frans!

Our souvenir stall has been working hard to bring visitors something new for anyone wanting an unusual gift this Christmas. Our latest item is - as we're sure you'll agree - a real talking point; a set of authentic wooden Blackmore's Night Russian Dolls! You can clearly recognise the boss and his partner Candice. The rest of the band are all there. So, don't miss this sure to be collectable item on your next visit.

We had hoped to do a Deep Purple set as well but nobody could quite agree on who should be the larger figure, and until Rod Evans and Nick Simper can work this out these will have to wait. (update: see above!)

Many thanks to John Blackburn for his help.

Our skilled operatives are on hand during regular hours, so if you  fancy a break during your visit to the theme park, relax in one of  our studio chairs and choose from our extensive range of Deep Purple  and associated designs. There's a special offer on the Slaves &  Masters cover image right now.

A recent satisfied customer was Ger Leenders, who had this striking image of Ian Gillan eating an ice-cream tattooed onto an appendage. We charged more than normal for the extra chins.

Our thanks to Ger, who lives happily in The Netherlands with his tattoo.

Darker Than Blue magazine enjoyed a well earned vacation after publication.

Our photograph shows Issue 58 enjoying the delights of Simferopol station, in the Ukraine. Timothy Campbell, acting as a travelling companion to the magazine (but not sharing the same room) says the station guards were a bit funny about people photographing the place, and as they are armed with sub machine guns, didn't push his luck!

www.cracked.com have nothing better to do with their time than come up with top ten lists (not something you'd ever find us doing of course!) such as the worst ten albums titles of all time, and have the temerity to put Deep Purple at number 8 for Purpendicular. "You’d think you’d have gotten all the "purple" puns out of your system by now," grumbles the site. Clearly they've not seen Rapture Of The Deep yet!

Thanks to Jason O'Broin for alerting us, and whose name goes into the monthly prize draw to win a free ride on the Grollywood donkey of his choice, Slave or Master.

The Mel Galley impersonator was exposed in the week leading up to Sept 15. when the Derby Evening Telegraph took the real Mel along to his house. Ken "Mel" Grimley took the real Mel on a tour of his house, signed autographs and gave him a plectrum before a reporter explained to Ken that he had the real Mel as a guest. After apologising for any offence he might have caused, Ken got the real Mel to sign one of his guitars and said he would stop his impersonations. But he carried on claiming he'd played with Clapton and Elvis, had a £22 million mansion, three Rolls Royce cars and that the terraced house in Ripley was just somewhere he could use to escape the fans and pressure. The real Mel added that it had been 'disturbing'. "I found the experience really eerie. All I wanted to do was get out of the house."

Thanks to Damian Phelan and Mel Galley for the update. Photo shows the cover of the local newspaper's expose.

For more info see www.ghpg.net

Grollywood prides itself on making sure star guests who visit our theme park are the real thing, so it is with some concern that we have been warned of a con artist pretending to be a member of the Deep Purple family - impersonating former Whitesnake guitarist Mel Galley.

This happy shopper lookalike has been frequenting pubs and clubs in the Nottinghamshire / Derbyshire area, autographing CDs, handing out plectrums and boasting of plans to record with Tony Iommi. When fans ask for a guitar demonstration however, "Mel" suddenly brings up the hand injury he sustained many years ago and says it has stopped him playing. Which as anyone who saw the Trapeze reunion some years ago will know is not true. As the real Mel says: "I have had messages thanking me for watching bands I have never heard of, in pubs I have never been to! Sorry to disappoint those of you who think you have met me."

In the light of all this we will be instigating DNA checks on future star guests, starting with the suspiciously bargain priced supposed ex-Gillan bassist we booked to open our new kiddies adventure park 'Caught In A Trap'; we've seen better bald wigs on 1970s Dr. Who aliens.

Thanks to Mike Garrett for the alert. For more information on Galley, visit http://www.myspace.com/melgalley & www.ghpg.net

The BBC news team have been reporting on Aug 3. 2007 that Mr. Black bear was confronted by a David Coverdale near its cave in Lake Tahoe, Nevada.

"It gave me quite a shock, I can tell you," said the bear. "When I saw this figure with all the blonde hair walking in the shadows I thought my wife, Mrs Bear, had been down the hairdressers, but then it shouted 'Don't mess with me' and started singing so I ran for cover..." Hearing of the trouble, wildlife rangers quickly arrived and the Coverdale, which was a long way from home, has been returned to it's natural habitat. "Would I lie to you?" said a ranger later.

During the severe flooding which occured around Gloucestershire on July 20 and put several water treatment plants out of action, local radio was the best source of information. When the supply was reconnected for non-drinking use only, 330,000 people were warned on air that they mustn't drink the water that was going to come through their taps soon. BBC Radio Gloucestershire then played 'No Solution' from the Butterfly Ball album; the words were amazingly appropriate - (almost as amazing as the fact that anyone there knew the song and they had an audio source to hand!). Our thanks to Mark Jones for the story.

As someone who was crossing the area that afternoon to attend a wedding and then for a week's break, we saw it all at first hand, narrowly escaping the eighteen hour jam on the motorway and ending up stuck in Malvern overnight as the roads ahead filled up with floating cars, and the roads behind were inundated (the couple getting wed saw most of their guests unable to attend. The wedding cake got stranded and they ended up cutting a ceremonial cheesecake out of the fridge!). Let's hope our ex-Iron Chancellor now returns the money he nicked from the Environment Agency and allows them to get on with overdue flood defence work which would have lessened the impact of this event considerably.

Remember that attempt to break the world record of most number of  people playing "the popular early '70s guitar riff" Smoke On The Water together which Harrods in London cancelled a few months ago Well some spark at the local radio station in Kansas City decided to take up the gauntlet after reading about the store bowing to pressure from local miseries, and decided to have a go themselves. So 1,683 guitar players (including some from as far away as Germany) turned out on June 4 and took part in what the organisers say was a world record rendition. They've now sent the evidence off for verification.Thanks to Mike Eriksson and Steven Murdoch

Regarding the Smoke On The Water world record, Europe is miffed to see this possibly ending up in America so even while the Kansas documents are being examined the Germans are planning to have a go at breaking it themselves. On June 23rd at the Leinfelden festival area near Stuttgart airport to be exact. They have an impressive list of sponsors and are hoping for 1,600 players to turn up. If you are planning on going, do contact the organisers direct first to avoid a wasted trip in case it has to be rescheduled, etc. There is a website (in German) at www.gitarrenweltrekord.de

Clearly inspired by the rampaged success of Grollywood (which turned away our 53rd visitor this week for not adhering to the 'smart/ casual' dress code), Cornwall County Council have jumped on the Deep Purple theme-park bandwagon and launched Gillan. If any of you are in the area you can take a look, but when we sent David White along to take this picture, he said all he found was a fairly ordinary village with nothing of note for Deep Purple fans whatsoever (although planning permission for a lifesized wooden replica of John McCoy and a Jerry Witherstone Was Here plaque is on the Parish Council agenda for next month).

David decided to forward the report to Ian Gillan who said he's never visited the place, but plans to do so soon. Gillan Parish Council be warned!

We love our local BBC radio stations we do, especially Radio Sheffield. We've loved them ever since we found one of their DJs in a second-hand record store trading in unopened copies of a local group's new record we had dropped off at the station less than 24 hours earlier (he'd have got away with it except the guitarist was serving behind the counter...).

We love them even more now they've just run a competition for a copy of Deep Purple's Montreux 2006. The presenter tried to remember the names of the band. She got as far as "I know that the guitarist was called Ian Gillan," clearly unable (or unwilling to read the credits). Happily a listener was on hand and texted her to correct it. She fessed up. "I've been told the guitarist was in fact called Jimmy Page".

Thanks to Nick Robinson's bass player who heard all. You couldn't make it up! Still, far better to ship them free copies and stop the fan club from having one to review isn't it?

Synopsis :

"Rainbow suddenly seem to be losing members to unfortunate accidents. The bass player's bed catches fire. The keyboard player finds himself bricked up in his hotel room. The Men From UNCLE are soon on the trail of the mysterious man in black. Will they triumph and keep the world safe for rock and roll - or will forces from the medieval past return? An exciting new novel based on the highly successful MGM TV series."

"I thought that I would sample something from the Deep Purple Menu. As a pudding I thought the 'Reading Roulade de Blackmore' looked particularly interesting. Customers beware! It is deliberately served 20 minutes late, there is not much too it but it does actually take 70 minutes to digest, is very expensive and leaves a sour taste in the mouth for a long time afterwards! Happy Eating." John Hansford

"I tried a bottle of the British grown vintage Deep Purple 2007 but I found it a bit unsatisfying, and after a while I'm sorry to say it started to repeat on me...." Simon Robinson

Blackmore's Night graced the same stage at the Hexagon in Reading on June 14th as Jethro Tull did a couple of months ago, though to a somewhat smaller crowd. They opened with Past Times In Good Company (which Tull first recorded in 1979 calling it King Henry's Madrigal), which then ran into a cover of Tull's Rainbow Blues. Later in the set, they introduced Play Minstrel Play, which Ian Anderson had guested on, by saying CN "We have a special guest on this song - is it Ian Anderson?" RB "Not unless he's wearing a dress. It's Ian Anderson in drag!"

MK (photo: Daniele Purrone)

You might not think that a singer who mostly performs barefoot would be the best person to open a shoe shop, but Deep Purple's Ian Gillan relishes the challenge. "It all began when I realised I had all these stage shoes kicking around doing nothing, so I decided to sell some of them off. It went so well that I decided there was a huge demand, so I bought a shop. At the moment the opening hours are a bit erratic as I'm on the road for about 360 days each year, but you can always pop next door and Mr. Evans, who owns the trouser store, will open up for you. Usually with a verse from Mandrake Boot."

Mr. Gillan plans to add Indian shirts to his stock soon, and is thinking of selling a range of hand-crafted bandanas from the Roger Glover range.

Our thanks to David Black who sent us the snap, from Ballycastle, Northern Ireland.

Purple was once again the "in" flower colour at the Chelsea flower show 2007, but there was an uncanny bit of programming in the coverage. The presenter moved straight from an interview with garden designer Caroline De Lane Lea to take a look at the Blackmore & Langdon stand, where the first plant to be featured was a "deep purple" (his description of the colour, not its actual name) Delphinium.... Spooky!

James Bateman

Did Whitesnake look to Twiggy for inspiration for their 1982 hit Here I Go Again? Pictured is the song as performed by Twiggy back in 1976, a hit from her debut album released that year. Closer inspection however reveals that the song she covered was penned by Country Joe McDonald back in the late sixties, so it must be coincidence. Mind you, Twiggy and Coverdale did both appear together on stage at the Butterfly Ball concert in 1976, so maybe not...

"After reading that our beloved PM (Tony Blair) had seen DP in their heyday I thought he might be proud to know that he had inspired the lyrics of one of their songs and so emailed him the relevant lines from Wrong Man, arguing that while he's not mentioned by name, the linking of "Prime ministerial" and "Lie" must surely be down to his performance over the past decade," writes James Bateman.

He was perhaps not surprised to find the PM too busy (with a new policy initiative no doubt) to reply, but was very spooked to find that somehow the original email disappeared from his sent folder.... I was going to add that you'd expect the secret services to have better things to do with their time these days, but then realised how foolish I'd look.

I know a few people are grumbling about the UK tour - £35 + booking fee + travel costs for three bands, two of whom most people wouldn't go to the end of street to see (Thin Lizzy? Anorexic Lizzy more like)... but spare a thought for web man Dave Browne's manager who wants to go and see The Rolling Stones' next tour. £150 each for him, his wife and two kids. £15 per ticket admin (clearly tickets this costly require more expensive handling), plus travel. It's not far off a grand for one show. Then there are The Police and Genesis at £150 a pop. So Grollywood says stop your carping in case our project director Bruce clocks these and gets ideas. Buy a vibrating banana and make him happy!

photo: Deep Purple showered with flower petals in Monte Carlo 2006. (Martin Ashberry)

Grollywood has just had a one-line fan letter for Rod Evens (sic) from America. We can't work out if this is a long delayed letter posted back in 1968 or if someone has been smitten more recently by the sight of those trousers in the Grollywood museum. As the sender kindly enclosed a dollar bill we'll send her details of the DPAS magazine, chase up those plans for the new theme park ride Raging River Of Fear, and make sure the cafe is stocked up with Bright Blue Tango.

Matthew Kean tells us he went to see the acoustic Jethro Tull tour in March 2007 (no news as to whether fans who donned a codpiece got to sit in the front two rows). Ian Anderson introduced Aqualung by saying "this is probably our most famous song, see if you recognise it. And don't you dare shout 'Smoke On The F**king Water!'"

Next time someone rams a deep and meaningful Bob Dylan track down your throat and sneers at you for listening to Deep Purple at full tilt, hit back! According to a research project carried out at Warwick University, people who listen to bands like Deep Purple are often amongst the cleverest sections of the population. A paper was presented to the British Psychology Society Conference in March 2007 outlining the full results of the survey, which collected feedback from something called the National Academy of Gifted & Talented Youth (Grollywood is opening a branch office for all Darker Than Blue subscribers' offspring), and (according to a report in The Observer newspaper) a third of those who responded put rock as their favourite music genre. Maybe all that headbanging shakes up and strengthens the brain cells after all...

Deep Purple are in a number of newspapers today (Feb 26) telling people not to buy the Live 1993 CD sets from Sony BMG. The group tell the reporter they were going through a bad patch at the time and one of the albums is from their worst gig ever. Never mind that the set was actually first issued last year, as far as I know taking an album to the shop and asking for your money back on the grounds that the band say it's rubbish isn't going to get you very far! "Have you got the receipt and a verified quote from the band sir?"

And was it really their worst gig ever? Let us know if you disagree and why. Our glamourous assistants are waiting for your call and there's a free copy of the utterly awful compilation Purplexed for the best response (and two copies for the runner up).

Is Ian Gillan auditioning for a new adult version of the children's classic Swallows And Amazons books?

Or perhaps he's setting sale for the stranded container trawler on the south coast of Britain in search of all those missing glo in the dark vibrating Bananas en route from China (now repackaged for the latest tour with the slogan "Bring yourself Rapture from the Deep")?!

Harrods, the once renowned London department store, is having a guitar exhibition running from Feb 2nd to March 3rd (no mention of any of Ritchie's gear being on show). Alongside this they are having a live stage with events. One of these is an attempt to stage the most number of people hammering out the Smoke On The water riff at one time. More info at the store's website I assume.

Thanks to Audie Philips for the news.

"Without doubt this is the best advertising tool we could have", says painter and decorator Nick Simper from Middlesex. A friend suggested that a Minor van would be good for business, so Nick immediately took their advice. "With a two-tone paint job and attractive sign writing Harriet the '68 1000 LCV looks in great shape - you'll see no brush marks here! It's a hell of a lot of fun to drive too," says Nick.

The above was spotted on the Morris Minor Owners Club site, reprinted from an article dated 1998.

Thanks to Nigel Young .

We all remember our school text books. They haunt you for ever (Most of mine had large squashed bluebottles between selected pages. They were designed to haunt whoever got the book after me!). Tim Sinzenich has sent us a school-text book which featured Deep Purple!

Published in 1974, MODEVERHALTEN was a book which discussed fashion, how pupils behave towards fashion, why  they use which clothes, etc. It was written for German school teachers to help them to understand the different fashions, how it was affected by the mass media and impacted on the behaviour of pupils..

The cover featured members of The Bee Gees, The Rattles and ... Roger Glover, looking cool in his 1971 all-over Demin ensemble and Doctor Who knitted scarf. Watch the price of this suddenly sky-rocket on eBay! .

"A combination of traditional sedative herbs and vitamins for the temporary relief of insomnia and disturbed sleep patterns." So says the Australian company behind this and many other herbal remedies. Some might feel that Ritchie's CDs alone could do the trick these days, but the similarity to the band's name, the purple label colour, surely something must be going on here.

Thanks to John Blackburn for the prescription. Dosage Adults - Take one to two tablets half an hour before a concert, or as professionally prescribed?

Ian Janes wrote to us recently: "I'm trying to persuade my head of Department to see Deep Purple on the 2007 UK tour. He's not seen the band since Kempton Park 10th August 1968! Would a gap of 39 years between seeing them for the first and second time be some sort of record?"

I'd have to say we would imagine it is. The news does raise three questions though. 1) Can your boss remember anything about the show or the festival which would be of interest to other DP fans? 2) Were they really so bad that he was put off seeing them again for so long? 3) Will he still be able to recognise Rod Evans?!   

photo © Franz Murer http://www.ukrockfestivals.com

With dodgy dogs in the news at the moment, it reminded us that back in the sixties, the owner of the Top Ten Club in Hamburg owned a Boxer as a guard dog, which began to take it's duties so seriously it would go for visiting musicians, chasing them round the club. In 1964 The Outlaws were playing there and the dog took a dislike to Blackmore big time. He nick-named it The Hound Of Hell and tried hard to avoid running into it.

Blackmore was relieved when the group returned to the club next tour to discover that the Boxer dog had died of a heart-attack chasing a bass player up the stairs!

Thanks to Fiesta Magazine 1978

Grollywood would like to draw visitors attention to the rules of admittance to the park which states that "All owners must be accompanied by their dogs"

According to their local paper (and next to an advert for a Molecatcher - "No Mole - No Fee"), children at Midsomer Norton Methodist Church have devised a retelling of the traditional Nativity Bible story, using a group of handmade puppets and some musical numbers. One of these is Deep Purple's Smoke On The Water, rewritten as "Walk On The Water". Let's just hope they cleared it with the music publishers! I for one won't be able to watch a DP show without thinking of this from now on (and I'm a fully paid up member of the Richard Dawkins school of non-believers).

If you missed their debut on December 10th 2006, the Fingers And Thumbs Puppet Group are planning to tour other churches during 2007.

Courtesy The Midsomer Norton, Radstock and District Journal, submitted by John Hansford..

Plans for the Grollywood Theme Centre are having to be redrawn after an offer for the former Springs Hotel (believed to have been part cash, part several thousand mis-pressed copies of Living For The City picture disc with the wrong b-side) was turned down by the present owners, and the consortium are now actively engaged in seeking a suitable building site somewhere on the Heston/Heathrow industrial park. Plans have apparently been submitted to the local authority for a Tunnel Of Love in the shape of a giant grand piano. The consortium were hoping to build a Read Your Fortune booth in the shape of a scaled-down Deeves Hall, but this has been refused.

SR

Most biographies reckon the name Deep Purple came from Ritchie's grandmother's favourite tune. But what if they were named after his grand-dad's favourite cigars? Thankfully they decided to drop the 5 cent cigar bit.

SR (Thanks to Tomasz Szmajter)

When Gillan issued the Nightmare single in 1981 (doesn't that make you feel old?!), we all thought it was a garishly coloured shot of Ian Gillan on the sleeve. And we were wrong. Sorry Ian! Recent investigative work in the laboratories of the National Portrait Gallery (and not Simon tinkering with the density filters and channel options buried in the depths of PhotoshopCS2) have revealed the hidden picture beneath the felt pens. In fact it is a snapshot of a Mrs.O'Leary, wife of the designer Steve who did the sleeve artwork! I wonder if she knew?

SR

"When I started work in London I worked for a small design studio called Market Share in High Holborn. Market Share was run by Pete and Pam, and I worked for them. There were also three freelancers renting space from them, one of which was Steve O'Leary.

I think the photograph on the front of Nightmare is actually of Pam (it sure looks like her anyway) and I don't think Steve was even married."

Thanks to Neil Cutler for the extra information.

SR

Inspired by Dolly Parton's Dollywood Theme Park and Ripley's Believe It Or Not sideshow, the DPAS is proud to announce the opening of Grollywood, a virtual theme park, entertainment and amusement complex devoted to the World of Deep Purple. The first few exhibits are now on display and more will follow.

Funds are being raised from the sale of the Minidisc single version of Smoke On The Water. All contributions are welcome. The virtual rollercoaster is now being built, and will reach from a high-point of 1971 at the Fireball Peak to a depth of 1980 at the Rod Evans Plunge.

SR

So successful has Whitesnake's resurgence been lately that David Coverdale has begun to invest his money in a chain of carpet stores.

Rob Wainwright has spotted the latest in St. Helens. And you can perhaps imagine the sales patter, "Would madame be interested in an underlay, or perhaps a nice deep shag?" Rumours that he'll be opening a boutique in Redcar next selling flares and scoop neck t-shirts have been denied. SR

Now you think we've made this CD sleeve up in a moment of extreme boredom don't you? If only! What's more we don't even know much about the guy who did, except that he sits on the back cover dressed to look like the king on a pack of playing cards, with a box of Kleenex, a Stratocaster and a magazine... This bizarre breakneck run-through of Japanese vocal versions of Deep Purple classics (from 1995) is simply bonkers. Instrumentally pretty faithful, the singer is clearly on another planet. A fifteen minute medley of titles - plus instrumental versions so you can top up on Saki and have a go!

SR

Following the success of the Ritchie Blackmore signature guitar model a few years back, the Steve Morse model and the recent Ian Paice signature snare drum, TKMaxx and Grollywood are proud to announce a sure-fire collectors item every Deep Purple fan will want; the Rod Evans signature Gold Lamé Trousers.

These trousers are carefully modelled on the famous pair worn by the former Deep Purple singer during his American tour of 1968, and immortalised on the Playboy TV show. Each pair are faithful replicas and have a Rod Evans signature reproduced across the reverse (as the singer could not be contacted that's a Mr. Rod Evans of Dock Avenue, Bristol). A certificate of authenticity will accompany each purchase, and this offer will be limited to three pairs per order.

Coming soon, Ian Gillan signature flip-flops and Nick Simper replica horse brasses.

Warning: the fabulousness of the trousers may be slightly less fabulous than the pair shown here. No responsibility can be accepted for trousers worn within 15 feet of a naked flame such as a lit cigarette.

SR